For Each There Is Naught But Hope
by Alucard's Familiar
Summary: Songfic to EvaneScence's Missing and My Immortal. Life and Death is a two sided coin, flipping it reveals what you will get. What will you call?


Alucard's Familiar: "I don't seem to understand myself right now. Everything I'm writing is depressing and philosophical. And I'm writing a lot of it lately. I don't understand, but I guess maybe I'm not supposed to. I don't own any of this, not Hellsing, nor the EvaneScence song I used. I know most of you are probably thinking, 'Oh great, another My Immortal songfic. That's been beaten to death.' And yes, I realize it has, but it fit to what I was writing, as well as Missing, which is not written in anywhere, but if you listen to it while reading through the first part, you get the feeling of what I'm trying to represent."

Side Note: "As you also know, I'm one for imagery. While you read and listen to the music (If you by chance have the music) try and visualize what is being written, combine it all to reveal the living soul of the piece."

For Each There Is Not But Hope

It was a rarity, but every so often it would occur. She admitted this thought to herself as she ran down the sidewalk, searching for a place to hide and reload her weapons. Boots sounded on the concrete, the only sound the woman made as she ducked down an alley and hid behind a dumpster.

"Damned maggot," Integra muttered as she looked at the bent barrel of her revolver, cursing herself for leaving her berretta in her desk drawer. The only other weapon she had on her now was a knife, and Alucard was off dealing with his own targets.

A sound reached her ears and she froze. The sound was foreign to her, a small, no two, small sounds coming from somewhere nearby. What followed that noise was the unmistakable cry of an infant, then another joined in soon after.

"Bloody hell," Integra swore as she stood up, searching for the noise. Her head turned in the direction of the dumpster, and she cocked her head to one side in curiosity.

The dumpster was about a foot taller than she was, so she had to jump to get a good grip and pull herself up onto the rim. When she got herself braced with her arms she looked around. What she found nearly made her lose her grip and fall off.

There, nestled in the trash, were two small infants, no more than a few days old.

"Oh my God," Integra murmured to herself.

"Yeah, that's what you should be saying, since that's the next thing you're going to see when I'm done with you," said a deep, obnoxious voice.

"I thought I'd lost you," Integra glared at the vampire as she let go of the bin and the vampire jumped closer to her, nearly standing on top of the infants.

"Nah, I have to kill you first," the FREAK said, pulling a dagger from his jacket. The cry of the two infants finally caught his attention and he turned his sights on the two nestled underneath him. "Well lookie here, we got ourselves a pair of noisy rats." With a flick of his wrist, the dagger was redirected and plunged downward, into one of the infants.

When one cry ceased, so did the beating in Integra's heart. She felt cold, like she herself felt the freezing wind of death blow by, blowing the child's soul away with it. Tears came unwillingly to her eyes and she tried her hardest to hold them back. She lost that battle.

Her hands clenched into fists, "You…bastard!" Integra launched herself at the young vampire without thinking, only wanting to kill it. She bowled him off the dumpster and onto the ground. There she was thrown to one side and the FREAK pinned her.

"Alucard!" Integra shouted as she got her legs under the vampire. With a swift shove, Integra sent it flying off of her, and it met the bullet of Alucard's Jackal a second later.

Integra sat up and looked over at the red clad vampire, but quickly forgot about him when the sound of the remaining child still crying in the dumpster reached her. She picked herself up and ran back to the dumpster, pulling herself up to look in once again. She found the one child alive and crying, but the other one, she hated to look. The dagger had been plunged deeply into its chest, blood spurting everywhere, its little heart punctured.

Alucard pulled himself up and looked in, a grave expression spreading across his face. He spoke no words, but Integra knew underneath his glasses and hat, his eyes held the same sorrow that hers did.

She let out a shaky sigh before hauling herself into the dumpster, dignity vanished along with the breath of the dead infant. She looked down at the dagger, wrapping her hand around its hilt, Integra flicked her eyes in Alucard's direction. He gave a slight nod and Integra pull the dagger up and out of the little body. A warm spray of blood burned her face as the dagger left the child. She reached up and touched it, and brought her fingers back down to inspect them. A child's blood, the purest substance on the face of the Earth, should not have been on her hands. She fought back tears again, this time winning the battle as she laid the dagger on the rim of the dumpster and handed the still child to Alucard to hold.

Cradling the live infant in one arm, she pulled herself out of the dumpster and jumped down, landing on one knee and covering the small life with her other arm for protection. The woman straightened and watched as Alucard slipped the dagger into his pocket.

"Strange survivor we have tonight," Alucard said as they walked down the street.

"It is the first," Integra said mechanically, her emotions were reeling. She could handle dead and mutilated bodies of adults, they were the majority, near a one hundred percent expectation. Young children, infants, newborns were not, and it tugged at her heart strings. The death of a child hit something inside her that she had never felt before. Regret.

She had never regretted being involved in the killing of the undead, or getting rid of their remains and mess. But she regretted tonight, regretted ever running down the alleyway, regretted looking in the dumpster, regretted everything.

She paused in her thoughts and walking to pull out her radio and called Walter, "Mission complete."

"Very good Sir," Walter replied, "Any casualties?"

She hesitated, "Just one," her voice cracked.

"Are you all right Sir?" Walter asked.

"I'll see you back with the rest of the squad Walter," Integra said, ignoring the question and switching off her radio.

"You didn't tell him," Alucard pointed out.

"He'll find out soon anyways," Integra said as she looked down at the child in her arms.

"You grieve for its lost sibling," Alucard said.

"I do," Integra agreed with a nod.

He was silent for a moment, "I grieve as well."

Integra stopped and turned to face him, disbelief on her face. She had always been told that a vampire felt no emotion, had no feelings for anything but themselves.

"Yes Master, a vampire can grieve, feel emotions, just as a human can," Alucard said. "We usually just chose to ignore them, but at times, when it is appropriate, we feel them." He removed his sunglasses, allowing her to see his eyes. "No child deserves death, especially one this young. They are as innocent as the breath they breathe." He looked down and the blood covered bundle in his arms. "They do not deserve this."

His eyes held the same grief hers held, and for once, Integra felt closer to the vampire before her than she had ever had in the ten plus years she had associated herself with him. Perhaps at it was their shared emotions, but she knew one thing, she wanted to, for the first time, share her feelings with him, but she did not know how. All she did was turn and keep walking, he falling in next to her.

OOOO

Walter looked up as two figures appeared at the rise of the hill in the street. He recognized the red clad vampire and the blond woman next to him, but their stride, posture, and silent disposition alarmed him. He watched the wind disrupt their clothes, and Integra's hair flowed out to the side, and he saw the blood on her face. He was frozen to the spot, and could only wait until the two reached him before he could see the reason for their behavior.

One of the soldiers had turned on the radio in one of the trucks and the music floated eerily on the wind.

_I'm so tired of being here_

_Suppressed by all my childish fears_

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

_'Cause your presence still lingers here_

_And it won't leave me alone_

"Sir Integra," Walter greeted her as he usually did, then took a surveillance of her. Her whole a appearance was rumpled and dirty, and the blood splashed across the left side of her face accented the grief and sorrow in her eyes. His gaze then wandered to the bundle in her arms, and his breath caught in his throat.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

"The only survivor," Integra stated, and he watched the emotions in her eyes fight to come to the surface. Her lips were pressed tightly together, and she swallowed often. He could see tears beginning to form at the corner of her eyes, a sign that she was losing her personal battle.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

"And the casualty?" Walter asked.

Integra's head turned slightly in Alucard's direction, her eyes settling on the form in the vampire's arms.

Walter recognized the bundle in Alucard's arms, "Dear God," it was said in a whisper, but it appeared that troops had heard him, and they we're beginning to mill around their commander to see what was causing such a state.

_You used to captivate me_

_By your resonating light_

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

_Your face it haunts_

_My once pleasant dreams_

_Your voice it chased away_

_All the sanity in me_

Alucard reached into his pocket and withdrew the dagger, throwing it to the ground at Walter's feet, "That's the foul creation that took its life. It's wielder is dust, but if I had known earlier as to it's misdeeds, I would have drawn out it's death, smearing its remains on the walls of the alleyway."

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

"I would have helped," Integra growled.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

"What shall we do with them Sir?" Walter asked.

"For now, we will go home," Integra answered, "Leave behind this place of disgrace, and never speak of it again."

"Yes Sir," Walter nodded.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_But though you're still with me_

_I've been alone all along!_

The wind picked up again, blowing Integra's hair back away from her face. She raised her head to it, breathing in the cool wind, and allowing the tears to fall. Through blurry tear filled vision, she watched most of the men remove their helmets as sign of their grievance, they too understood what a blow it had been. "For each there is not but hope." She murmured softly, and the woman knew only Alucard and Walter had heard her.

"May it not be widely known," Alucard said, "But this is why the Hellsing Organization is here, to stop unneeded death by those who do not know how to control themselves. May they be true or FREAK, death in this form is sin that not even I could commit. Remember this night, but do not speak of it, burn it into your thoughts, and use it as fuel to do your job. Do not fail the life that lives, and do not fail for the life that perished."

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

"Amen." The Hellsing Mistress said and focused her gaze on Alucard.

The soldiers watched as the two walked off together, one holding life, and the other holding death. Most whispered prayers to the lifeless infant, others turned over in their heads what Alucard had said.

"Load up!" Walter shouted. "We're pulling out."

The soldiers ran to do as they were told, but not before one ran and turned off the radio, letting the night fall into blissful, yet deafening silence.

Many stopped in their loading to watch the two figures disappear into the darkness. Life and Death traveling together into the unknown of the future.

OOOO

Alucard's Familiar: "I hope you enjoyed this. It was a struggle to write and keep flowing, and emotionally kind of straining. I've only written one other thing that has made me cry when I wrote it, and that was the pathetic ending in Love Forbidden. Review please, and if ANYONE decides to flame this, I will not be pleased. Constructive criticism is happily accepted though. Thanks for reading, and happy holidays."


End file.
